Friday, 17 April 2015

Scenes From The Movies

Today we are having a bit of fun for all movie lovers: a quiz with a difference!  

Some actors need a lot of coaxing, others need a firm hand. A good director knows just how to handle his stars.   

See if you can identify the films from the director's coaching of his star. (Answers at the end)

1.  Mr Wilder: No, Marilyn, I'm not angry. But it's been a long day and we're all tired. Now let's try once more. Take fifty-four:  Grab Tony's hand, open your eyes wide and say: "Oh Josephine! The most wonderful thing happened!" Try and get the words in the correct order, Dear, as near as you can manage.

 2.  Mr Scorsese: Look straight into the mirror, Bob … more arrogance, please: "You talkin' to ME?" Look behind you as if you can't believe this jerk has the nerve to talk to YOU. Look belligerent! You don't want to chat with him, you want to kill him!

3. Mr Fleming: No, Clark, I'm sorry about your bad back, but Vivien's not walking up that staircase. No, not even with your arm around her waist. You are carrying her! No, the stunt man is NOT doing it. 

4. Mr Fleming: I don't care if your feet are killing you, Judy, you're not taking those red shoes off until I say CUT! Now click your heels together again. Three times!

5. Mr Hitchcock: Yes, you have to go in the fruit cellar, Tony. It's not scary! How can it be scary? Of course you won't be alone in there with your mouldering mother! The cameraman's here, the sound man's here, the key grip's here … for goodness sake, I’m here! Now stop snivelling and get down those stairs!

6.  Mr Capra: Here comes the car. You keep well back, Clark. Claudette, lift your skirt. Not so high! You're a hitch hiker, not a hooker! Silence on the set! The next one who whistles, is fired. Send the car again! Go on, Claudette, just above the knee!

7.  Mr Jackson: No, Naomi, not yet. Wait until I wave my hankie, then you scream. Yes, dear, you're a better screamer than Fay. You're better than Jamie Lee, too. Yes, I'll talk to the Academy about a special Scream Oscar. But for now, will you just please shut up and wait for your cue?

8.  Mr Coppola: No Marlon, you're not in the scene. He just finds the horse's head in the bed. No, you can’t march in and chuck it on his pillow. You can't cut it off, either. Where did you get that chainsaw? We're not using a real horse's head! Props! Where’s the props man? Show Mr Brando the fake horse's head and take that chainsaw back to the "Slash and Splash" set.

9.  Mr Zinneman: I'm sorry if you've got sand in your bathing suit, Deborah. Yes, I know it chafes, but you can't go and shower now. Burt is uncomfortable too. Yes, I know it is not very romantic. No, that is not a stinging jellyfish, it's just some of the sound man's equipment. Here comes the next wave. No, your mascara isn't running. Never mind if your hair gets wet, just KISS him!

10.  Mr Young: Right, Ursula, start towards the beach. No, no! Not the blue bikini, I want you in the WHITE one! Go and change, and remember to strap the divers' knife on. And hurry up, poor Sean has been lying under that tree for a long time and the ants are eating him alive.

11. Mr Reiner: Cut! No, thanks, Meg, we won't need another take. That one is enough. We now already have far too much information about your private life. Let's call it a day and go home before any more of the extras demand to have what you're having.

12.  Mr Verhoeven: No, Sharon, just sit up straight and keep your knees together. Don't sprawl like that! And don't cross your legs! I said don't …. oh, my goodness.

13. Mr Hill: What do you mean you can't ride a bike, Paul? Everybody can ride a bike! Well, Robert can teach you in the lunch break. At two o'clock sharp I want to see you riding that bike. No wobbling! And Katharine will be on the handlebars. No, the stunt man is NOT doing it!

14. Mr Mankiewicz: Elizabeth, when I say CUT, you have to let go of Richard. No, that wig does not block your ears. I know you heard me. No, we don't need another take. That will do. You can go to your dressing room now. Your own dressing room! Elizabeth!

15.  Mr Curtiz: Now, Errol, when I say "Action!", I want to you grab than vine, swing down from the tree and land right in front of Olivia. No, I've had a word with her and she's not going to laugh at your tights again. Or at the little hat. You don't look like a pixie, whatever she said. Or a fairy either. You look very manly.

16.  Mr Wyler: Don't worry, Audrey, it's not hard. If you can ride a bike, you can ride a Vespa. Greg will put his hands on the handlebars and help you steer. No, he is not putting his arms round your waist. You don't need help sitting, you need help steering. Don't go too fast. Slow down! Oops…

17.  Ms Ephron: I don't care if you don't know how to whisk eggs, Meryl, you're the greatest actress of your generation, last I heard. Act like you can whisk eggs. Stand back, Stanley, you can't be her cooking double. No, not even in the close-ups. No, not even if you paint your nails. You have knobbly knuckles, nobody will think it's Meryl.

18.  Mr Lee: Excellent, Heath, that yearning expression is perfect. Now if you will please just look at Jake instead of at Michelle …

19.  Mr Hitchcock: Right, Cary, just stand there looking bored, until the plane gets closer. Then you look puzzled, and then you hit the deck. No, there will be no time for any more facial expressions. Yes, we all know and admire your wide repertoire, but in this case you'll deploy just the two. Boredom, then puzzlement. Then flat on your face in the dust.  No, you're not changing into dungarees for this scene. Well, you should have thought of that before you put your best Saville Row suit on this morning. You've seen the script.

20.  Mr Donen: Now, Gene, you kiss Debbie at the door, wave the cab on and start walking down the street. Take about ten paces and then close your umbrella. Yes, you heard. Close it! I know it's raining. Yes, you will get wet. That's the whole idea. The longer you argue, the longer you'll stand there getting wet. No, you're not likely to get pneumonia. Have a whiskey and lemon when you get home. No, you can't have one now.

21. Mr de Mille: Don't be such a sissie, Victor, that lion is so old it's toothless. They feed it hamburger. Look, Hedy's patting it. Oh, all right, then, the stunt man will wrestle the lion and we'll borrow the stuffed one from the Tarzan set for you to wrestle in the close-ups. But for goodness' sake be careful with it: Weismuller has already pulled half its mane out and they can't find its one eye since they let little Mickey Rooney play with it.

22. Mr Butler: Shirley, Mr Bojangles has tapdanced up and down those stairs five times. I know you enjoy watching him, but he is getting tired. We have to shoot the scene now. Take his hand and dance up the steps with him. No, you can't finish your lollipop first. I'll hold it for you. No, I won't lick it, I promise.

23. Mr Brooks: Yes, Elizabeth, I know you had sixty-four costume changes in Cleopatra, but in this movie you'll just be in the slip most of the time. The white one. Yes, the black one and the pink one are lovely … yes, and the aqua one too, but you can't change in and out of them while you argue with Paul. You stay in the white one. Because that's how Mr Williams wrote the scene. No, it has to be a slip. If Mr Williams had thought a push-up bra and suspender belt would be better, he would have said so.
24. Mr Columbus: No, Daniel, "Hollywood magic" is just an expression. We can't really make your broomstick fly. It's all done by the special effects guys. Emma will explain it to you. Now stop crying and go put your robe on, we're shooting the first scene in ten minutes.

25.  Mr Hooper: You don't get to wear the crown, Colin. The King only wore it on Coronation Day and we're not showing that. No, I am certainly not going to ask Her Majesty if you can borrow it to try on. Just wear your nice Homburg. It's a lovely hat. Very regal. Geoffrey wishes he had one like it, don't you, Geoffrey?

26.  Mr Daldry: Make-up! Where's that dratted make-up man? No, wait, call the props guy. That nose is more a prop than a miracle of make-up. Oh, here you are. Nicole's nose has come adrift again. I'm sorry, Nicole, I know you've spent a lot of time learning to write left-handed, but if your nose falls off once more, I'm giving the part to Anjelica Houston. She won't need a prop. Pity … I'm sure there's an Oscar in it.

27.  Mr Beresford: Now, Morgan, when I say "Action!", I want you to drive off slowly. Jessica will sit quietly in the back seat. No, Jessica, we're not writing in a scene where Morgan has a panic attack and you have to take over the driving.

28.  Mr Wise: Yes, Julie, I know they're revolting little monsters, but you are not to smack any of them while the cameras are rolling. No, not even the one who put the glue on your bicycle saddle. When I say: "Action!" I want you to smile lovingly at all of them and take it from the top with "Doh, a deer, a female deer … "

29.  Mr Tarantino: Black suit, John. What do you mean your dancing signature is a white suit. There's no such thing as a dancing signature. We've come a long way since Saturday Night Fever. This is Jack Rabbit Slim's and you will follow Uma up on that stage in your black suit, and you will take your shoes off … yes, your shoes! Off! And when Chuck Berry lets fly with You Never Can Tell, then you twist. Put a lot of hip and elbow action into it, no slacking!

30.  Mr Lumet: Sorry, Michael, we can't leave this scene out. It's pivotal to the story. I've had a word with Christopher, and he has promised not to open his mouth. Yes, I've made it clear to the crew that anyone who whistles will be fired. No, the stuntman is not going to it, you have to kiss Christopher yourself. You're an actor! Close your eyes and pretend you're Lois Lane. Or pretend he's Raquel Welch. Or think of England. Whatever works for you.

1. Some Like It Hot
2. Taxi Driver
3. Gone With the Wind
4. The Wizard of Oz
5. Psycho
6. It Happened One Night
7. King Kong
8. The Godfather
9. From Here to Eternity
10. Dr No
11. When Harry Met Sally
12. Basic Instinct
13. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
14. Cleopatra
15. Robin Hood
16. Roman Holiday
17. Julie and Julia
18. Brokeback Mountain
19.  North by Northwest
20. Singin' in the Rain
21. Samson and Delilah
22. The Little Colonel
23. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
24. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
25. The King's Speech
26. The Hours
27. Driving Miss Daisy
28. The Sound of Music
29. Pulp Fiction
30. Deathtrap


No comments: